


Addict

by kashmir



Category: Real Person Fiction
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-12-29
Updated: 2005-12-29
Packaged: 2018-01-10 02:25:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1153659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kashmir/pseuds/kashmir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>It might help to read their IMDB bios, first. Since I actually did research for this. LOL <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001618/bio">HERE</a> and <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001267/bio">HERE.</a></p><p>All for <span class="ljuser i-ljuser"></span><a class="i-ljuser-profile" href="http://bana76.livejournal.com/profile"><img class="i-ljuser-userhead"/></a><a class="i-ljuser-username" href="http://bana76.livejournal.com/"><b>bana76</b></a>. *smoochies*</p>
    </blockquote>





	Addict

**Author's Note:**

> It might help to read their IMDB bios, first. Since I actually did research for this. LOL [HERE](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001618/bio) and [HERE.](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001267/bio)
> 
> All for [](http://bana76.livejournal.com/profile)[**bana76**](http://bana76.livejournal.com/). *smoochies*

He refused to call him Balty like the rest of his friends did. Always used his full name. Whenever they got drunk or high together, which was often, he insisted on being called Leaf.

He was always talkative when he was stoned. About his childhood and his parents and his first love and what it was like watching his older brother die in a gutter outside the Viper Room. His voice always lowered a pitch when he talked about that night in October, three days after his nineteenth birthday. Balthazar can never look at him when he talks about it, sprawled in the arm chair in the corner, glass held loosely in one hand, ever-present cigarette in the other.

He realizes he should feel special that Leaf... Joaquin feels comfortable enough around him to talk about his brother's death, even if he does have to be drunk to do it. He knows it, knows how much it means.

Doesn't mean he has to be okay with it. He's not a goddamn shrink. He doesn't know what to goddamn say to make everything better. There isn't anything he can fucking say. River's gone and that's that. No do-over's, no miracles. He knows that for the most part Joaquin has made peace with it, knows it's the booze and dope that make him melancholy.

So he just commiserates silently, never having gone through anything like that. Never lost a brother. Raises his bottle of Jack in a silent toast to the late and great. Does his best to take Joaquin's mind off it.

By crawling into his lap and tasting those lips, trying to dig out that honey thick taste that he will never admit to craving. That honey-thick, whiskey-roughened taste and tongue and he doesn't even try to rationalize it anymore. Doesn't think. Doesn’t even wait for the buzz to kick in half the time.

He's addicted and he knows it.

And if there is one thing Balthazar has learned from Joaquin and their inebriated late-night talks, it's that addictions can be deadly.


End file.
